Self-Love is Your True Superpower. Here is Why

The concept of Self-Love

We’ve all heard it before: ‘Look after yourself’, ‘Just love yourself and everything will fall into place’. Sounds like a broken record tbh…

So what does self-love really mean?

Let’s face it, the most important, long-lasting relationship you have in life is the relationship you have with yourself.

The unfortunate truth is people come in and out of our lives.

We lose our loved ones due to various reasons: betrayals, misunderstandings, break-ups, unavoidable fated life’s upheavals (illnesses, deaths and other misfortunes).

Even marriages that last till death do us apart end, when one partner passes away.

The only person you will have forever in your life is you. Those who believe in the concept of past lives and reincarnation realise that you are your forever partner for eternity.

Self-Love is not just Your Power, it’s Your True Superpower

If you don’t love yourself, you will never stop looking for someone or something in the outside world to complete you. If you don’t invest in cultivating self-love and acceptance, you put a curse on yourself of never becoming truly happy and content, no matter how hard you try.

The worst curse of them all. 

Every time you meet someone or achieve a goal you’ve always wanted to achieve, you will be faced with a crushing disappointment that the feeling of joy and happiness that you so desperately longed for doesn’t last for very long.

You are doomed to search the world for eternity and never find the love and contentment you truly seek.

 It is a pretty gloomy picture indeed. 

But it doesn’t have to be this way. The only thing in life you have control over is you.

Sounds like a grim reality filled with never ending uncertainty… Not at all!

On the contrary, it is good news. It means you have the power to monitor and control your thoughts.

 You have the power to improve your physical body and your mental health. You also have the power to bless yourself with the gift of self-love and acceptance – the only sustainable source of happiness on this planet.

Self-Love is Essential for Healthy Relationships

Our relationships with others keep us happier and healthier #Facts

 Our ability to form long-lasting, healthy connections with people who matter is one of the most important skills we need to develop to live a fulfilling life. 

Being needy and lacking self-love is the sure way to attract doomed, unhealthy relationships.

Inability to feel happy and content without any external sources of love and validation often triggers desperation in us.

Desperation leads to disappointment, and in some extreme cases, even to outright danger.

When you are desperate for love and validation, you can easily fall prey to predators who can practically smell it off you. Unfortunately, today’s world is full of narcissists, sociopaths and other disturbed yet seemingly high-functioning individuals. It’s not always easy to recognise who you are dealing with.

When we don’t love ourselves, we low our guard, compromise our personal boundaries and ignore most obvious red flags. People who don’t love themselves are much easier to manipulate and take advantage of. It’s a very well known fact that empaths are the predominant victims of narcissistic abuse.

Being an Empath is Not Fatal

There is nothing wrong with being an empath, it doesn’t make you weak or less than. But we should become empaths towards ourselves first and foremost.

The ability to discern is closely connected with the concept of self-love.

You see, if you practice self-love the first thing you want to do is to protect, nurture and cherish yourself.

 If you sacrifice your basic needs to feel safe and secure, it means that you love and need someone else way more than you love yourself.

In the modern toxic word of dating, ghosting and all kinds of psychological and emotional abuse, self-love is not just your power, it is your true superpower.

You become almost invincible. Together with resilience, self-love is the number one guarantee of a solid mental health. And in this day and age our mental health is our everything.

Self-Love and Safe Dating

It is important to remember that the most important love of all is the love for yourself. Very often, we look for Mr or Ms Right to solve our problems.

Very often this type of attitude leads to crushing disappointments when we learn that the person we had so many hopes for is not ‘the one’.

These crushing disappointments mount up in our soul, leading to our heart becoming heavy and closed off for the real authentic connection.

 Meaningful connection is only possible when we are vulnerable and open to love. The delicate balance between being discerning yet vulnerable and authentic is called for.

You see once you are truly in love with yourself, you will never be able to settle for someone who is not right for you from the start.

It has been proven that once we fall in love we are physiologically and emotionally trapped.

Our heart is raw open and can be shattered in pieces if it’s in the hands of the wrong person.

Discernment is the Key

Basically, the key to avoid the heartbreak is not to get involved with the wrong person. The reality, of course, is way more complicated than that.  It is not always possible to predict the outcome.

Trusting life is super important if we want to find and keep true love. But nothing is guaranteed. 

Our deep-seated desire to control the outcome is one of the main causes of unhappiness and dissatisfaction in life.

There is nothing wrong with planning, but there is always a chance things will go in a completely opposite direction of what we’ve originally planned for.

However, this is our responsibility to do everything we can to minimize the risk of getting hurt.

Personality Disorders Pandemic

We are living through an era of personality disorders pandemic. The world is full of narcissists, unhealed people, who simply don’t have the best intentions at heart.

It is the sad truth that we have to co-exist with. People are swiping left and right. Psychological abuse, like ghosting, became the norm. 

It’s rough out there.

Especially if you are a genuine, sensitive person , very often labelled as an empath.

If you feel you keep catching the ‘virus’, it’s time to stop and look deeper into the reasons why it keeps happening.

If you keep attracting people that leave you feeling less than and heartbroken, something is clearly wrong with your ”emotional immune system.’

You need to quit dating scene immediately, put yourself in quarantine and invest time and resources into healing. And remember, healing doesn’t have a timeline.

Be patient with yourself, don’t rush the process.

Useful Resources

 If you can’t afford expensive personal coaching sessions or a therapist, get creative.

Team up with friends who are having similar issues, organise weekly meet-ups or group calls. Join forums, join YouTube university.

There is so much material and information available for free or small contribution that can transform your life.

In the age of information, ignorance is a choice.

Chose YOU today and never look back! You have nothing to lose, but most definitely a lot to gain. Make the most important decision in your life and fully commit to yourself.

Even if you have a loving partner, great family and friends you are totally happy with, practicing self-love is essential to keep it going.

Great happiness is built on equal give and take. You need to fill your own cup first before you can pour into others.

To have and not to hold is not the scenario we want to unfold.